I am on a voyage of self-discovery. I'm in therapy finding out who I am; what I want to be. I turned 40 this year and quite frankly, I'm tired of living someone else's life. Mother, wife, Daughter employee, church goer. Who am I? What do I..I believe??
When I was a teen, I lived outside the rules. Didn't finish high school. Had a child when I was a teen. .Was on public assistance. It wasn't until the 2nd child I wised up, went to college, got a job, became that responsible citizen.
But as I look back now, all I can think about is how I miss that wild child. The one that was the fearless one in her group. The one that everyone came to for advice. Now I'm practically friendless and I don't blame people for staying away. I'm not who they think I am. Actually I don't know who I want to be. Let me rephrase that.
I know that all I've ever wanted to be is a person that others respected, all I've ever wanted to do is help people. I was going to be the next Mother Theresa. I was going to broker lasting peace in the Middle East. Now I'm a mother, wife, employee. I wanted to travel the world and I've never been off the East coast. How do I get to where I want to be? How do I get to be what I want to be?
So the next time my husband asks why I go to therapy, I'm going to straighten my back, square my shoulders, look him and say in a loud, clear voice "I've go to get some things off my chest." Yep! That's who I am.